Getting the itch...

It's a good thing I'm too broke to initiate any possible relocation scenario.

I'm a military brat. I get that *itch* every couple of years. Surprisingly, as a military family, we moved very little in comparison to how long my father's service was. It was when we became a divorced family, the frequent moving surfaced.

It's not that I am unhappy here. I think this is probably the one place I've felt the most happy (currently 10 years). Sure I've had my fair share of unhappiness and will continue to, location will not change the flow of life's lessons. I left my old state to escape my dysfunctional family. The visits *home* made it painfully clear that my family did not truly know me. In the passing of my mother, my siblings became estranged from me. Didn't like it, but they made their positions clear, respected that and left it alone. Even a reconciliation started blossoming and I quickly squashed it. I'm getting too old for self righteous crap.

I thought in marrying my husband, his family would become sort of a replacement. Silly, I know, but don't know how else to explain it. Then we had a trauma occur, again, became painfully clear where I stood. To a level it was obvious but on the other hand, it was disappointing. Since then, that boat is easily rocked. They have their own form of dysfunctions. My husband knows it, chooses to just live at arms length.

At one point in time, we had enough money saved up, we could have financed a move. I hesitated greatly due to our young son. Even though we have very little involvement to my husbands family here, my son feels very strongly tied to our life here.

I think what we crave most is a community. Even while loving Alaska, we don't feel a sense of community. We don't have close family or friends. For many years, I blamed my weight as the deterrent. Maybe it is me after all. I know it is me. Not necessarily in a bad way. I've never conformed to any way of life. So in that, it is hard to find others who don't either let alone, a family.

Have you ever felt that way? Feel the *itch* to start a new life somewhere?  Near? Far?

Is there a place for folks like me, my family? If so...tell me where!